Domestic Abuse Experience in Feb 2012 Watchtower

A Mini-Survey

As you may be aware, the following experience was published on page 29 of the February 2012 issue of the Watchtower (Study Edition) which reads as follows:

Selma recalls a lesson she learned from the Witness who studied with her. “On one particular day,” says Selma, “I didn’t want to have a Bible study. The night before, Steve had hit me as I had tried to prove a point, and I was feeling sad and sorry for myself. After I told the sister what had happened and how I felt, she asked me to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. As I did, I began to reason, ‘Steve never does any of these loving things for me.’ But the sister made me think differently by asking, ‘How many of those acts of love do you show toward your husband?’ My answer was, ‘None, for he is so difficult to live with.’ The sister softly said, ‘Selma, who is trying to be a Christian here? You or Steve?’ Realizing that I needed to adjust my thinking, I prayed to Jehovah to help me be more loving toward Steve. Slowly, things started to change.” After 17 years, Steve accepted the truth.

[Click on images to read in full size view]

The above experience is the nineteenth of its kind to feature in Watchtower publications since 1958. Similar experiences, where a violently abusive husband is “won over” by his wife, and all live ‘happily ever after’ can be found in the following references: w58 7/1 p. 400; w69 12/15 p. 740; g70 12/8 p. 10; g74 1/8 p. 11; w76 5/15 pp. 292-293; w82 7/15 p. 7; w86 8/1 p. 21; w90 8/15 p. 21; yb90 p. 64; yb93 pp. 179-180; w94 4/15 pp. 27-29; yb94 p. 145; w96 5/1 pp. 22-23; g97 4/22 p. 31; w99 1/1 p. 3; yb99 p. 60; w04 8/15 p. 10; w07 4/15 p. 6.

More information on this subject can be found on Cedars’ blog article “Won Without a Word – At What Cost?”

Please consider all of the above carefully, and then answer the following questions:


Do you believe that the Governing Body's Writing Department was right to include the above experience in the Feb 2012 Watchtower?

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Do you believe that the above experience could potentially encourage abused wives to stay with their violent husbands?

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Do you believe that the above experience could make women think that they may expect to be abused if they do not sufficiently show Christian qualities?

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Do you believe that the above experience might make violent husbands feel vindicated in abusing wives who do not sufficiently show Christian qualties?

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Do you believe that spousal abuse or domestic violence is excusable under any circumstances?

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Do you believe that this article reflects favourably on Jehovah's Witnesses among outsiders, and furnishes praise to Jehovah?

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What would you like to see the Governing Body do about the above mentioned experience?

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Do you have any further comments to add to this subject? If so, please use the comment form below and share your thoughts with our readers.

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33 Responses to Domestic Abuse Experience in Feb 2012 Watchtower

  1. Cedars says:

    Huge thanks to everyone who has voted so far on this serious issue. It is noteworthy that (so far) 92% think that the Society were wrong to publish the experience, and 84% feel that a retraction should be published. It would be unlikely (and indeed unprecedented) for such a retraction to be published, but nevertheless, it would be the right thing for them to do. It is therefore right for us to call for it.

  2. Editor says:

    This subject is far more important to the WT than it might seem at first. There are at least three aspects to this that must be considered over time:
    1. How long will the Governing Body teach that women are lesser humans than men – not deserving of equal treatment within the congregation?
    2. How long will they protect elders and other male JWs who are violent and mentally abusive to their wives (and children!)?
    3. Will JWs continue to fail to report criminal level assault and sexual violence against women (and children)? Or will they finally catch up with the rest of the western world and actively campaign against violence – rather than make excuses for it?

  3. Greg Harper says:

    MARRIAGE IS A THREE FOLD CORD (WITH JEHOVAH BEING THE THIRD)
    I believe the society should stay out of marriages. We have had so many sisters here in the south experience disturbance in their marriage when the attempt to “impose” on their husbands the society’s view on marriage.

    NEWLY BAPTISED SISTERS
    This is touchy so I’m going to be quite careful. There are instances where newly converted women, married for decades to unfaithful husbands have decided to address the otherwise accepted years of marital infidelity on the part of their husbands. While I in no way condone infidelity or adultery, I would like to ask that the society refer sisters to professional marriage counselors should they desire to address years of lnfidelity or other very private matters. Elders are neither professionally qualified or duly empowered to handle these very complex, sensitive issues.

    BAPTISED MARRIED COUPLES
    In instances where both husband and wife are baptised, the society would do well to take look at the issue of handling marital difficulties.

    Far too many well meaning innocent mates have reached out to elders with the aim of readjusting an unfaithful mater with disastrous results. Elders should never entertain a marital complaint from either mater without including both partners. With the goal of salvaging the marriage, details of marital infidelity or matters pertaining to the marital bed should be handled lovingly by the elders, and if need be, directed to a professional marriage counsellor.

    • Lise says:

      They are in no way educated in marriage counseling and they should alway refer married couples for professional marriage counseling.

  4. yves says:

    I read all the article “Won without a word”, but all the argument is oriented: “Do you beleive that married women ,beaten by their hasbund must continue to risk their live , staying with him?”.
    The answer is obviously NO, and they CAN divorce for this purpose.
    So the advice of Jesus about allowed case of divorce, is treated fairly by congregation as you say yourself:
    “Witnesses impose no sanctions against a battered wife who succeeds in obtaining a legal separation or divorce from her violent husband.”
    Then the true matter is in this case: can they be married again? In this new situation their live is no more in danger, and the answer of Christ in Matthiew, is clearly NO.
    The final situation of this women is not different than the situation of many people which will stay alone all this live for any reason(physical desease, infirmity, gay, and so on) idependant of their wishes to be lovely tied to someone.

  5. Cedars says:

    Hello yves, thank you for commenting. To be frank, your remarks show an astonishing lack of sympathy for those wives who didn’t know their husbands were abusive before they married them. According to you, these must serve a life-sentence in which they cannot enjoy marital intimacy with any other man for the rest of their lives simply because they were tricked into an abusive relationship. To compare their plight with those of disabled or homosexual persons is frankly preposterous, and even offensive.

    Contrary to your assertions, Jesus never commented on the scenario of a wife in an abusive relationship. He merely commented that adultery was the only grounds for divorce. If you examine his teachings more closely, he often conveyed the idea that preserving life was more important than obeying the letter of the law (i.e. healing on the sabbath). Even if you choose to believe that Jesus wanted wives who’ve been tricked into abusive relationships to remain unmarried, this does not excuse the Society’s constant attempts to imply that women are somehow responsible for their violent husbands’ actions, and that by staying with them and enduring abuse they can “win them over”.

  6. Hvordan kan WT oppmuntre kvinnr til å holde ut i voldelige ekteskap i årevis bare fordi det kan være en liten sjanse for at mannen kan bli et jw? Vold er en krimnell handling,og mange hundre tusen blir grovt lemlestet i verden årlig;og mange tusen blir drept årlig fordi de NOT.. kom seg bort fra mannen i tide,bare 30 000 i Russia ALONE.Mange har barn,hva med dem som må være vitne til mishandling?

  7. mandie says:

    1 corinthians 13: 4- 8 Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up,  does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are [gifts of] prophesying, they will be done away with; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will be done away with.

    when you really love someone you dont give up on them. The advise worked for me. People can change and nothing is imposible with the amaizing God we serve.

  8. exWitless says:

    I honestly have goosebumps going through the posts here after taking this survey. I have horrible memories of sitting with two elders and my abusive (now ex) husband. I was told to “not keep count of the injury.” So did that mean my husband could keep on hitting me, hurting me, throwing me across the room, sometimes in front of my two little boys? And I wasn’t suppose to make any note of it…just let it happen. I can remember reading the verses that said a man should love his wife as he does his own body, to cherish her. Why did the elders omit this from our discussion? They said a few sentences to my husband – with no Bible references. I got the complete lecture!! I will always believe in the golden rule. Consider this – it would be unthinkable, impossible for Jesus to hurt any of his family members or close friends – or anyone for that matter. Why can not purported Christian men follow this example? No one is perfect here, of course. And of course there is room for conflict resolution where you should not “keep count of the injury.” But that does not mean to continue to accept it. We are admonished to treat our bodies with respect. To allow someone to abuse us in my opinion is going against a sacred directive… (I could go on and on…. sad memories). Thank you so very, very much for calling attention to this very important. . . well, severe injustice. And quoting Oprah from long ago…”When you fight in front of your children you change who they are.” And its not for the good. I know this by how my sons turned out… (almost in tears here…happy this is here, but hurting so much still, from what I went through).

  9. neveryoumind says:

    I spent 17 years in a marriage to ‘unbeliever’ who was a toxic abuser.The whole idea of suffering for a ‘great reward’ in an imagined future is the life blood of the whole of witness dogma.

    I used WTS literature and ‘moral support” to stay married.I became a true believer. Finally I experienced that moment of clarity and knew I was finished with the union from that point it took 3years to be free and then another 3 to get free from witness world.

    I do not lay all the blame for my situation on the WTS. In my opinion though, any religious group that actively supports a woman taking a beating because it might cause her husband to convert does not come from god. Period.

    I realize that so many of the things that the WTS says about marriage, sex and ‘proper headship” are extra- biblical. And that the GB pick and choose which extra-biblical dogma to follow- and that they do not follow Jesus and be kind. Instead it seems that they are hardline, unkind, unfeeling and hyper-pharisaical . If Jesus is anything like he is portrayed in their “Greatest Man” book many bad and terrible things will happen to many of those “who take the lead” when he comes to inspect them in the prelude to the big A. Their own actions condemn them.

    What seems to be truly tragic is all the lives that the WTS taliban-like policy impacts. Certainly, their could be millions of families that are suffering because the WTS tacitly approves of men hitting women. Sometimes, I wish there was a god who cared about the sovereignty of his name and this god would destroy the WTS.

  10. AGuest says:

    Greetings, dear Cedars and all at JWSurvey… and peace to you!

    Although I like the choices your survey sets out, I don’t think they were enough. I think they should condescend and come down off that [very] “high horse” and issue a full public retraction in which they openly admit they made an error and apologize not only to any who were upset by the paragraph but those who may have experienced abuse in the past due to this and similar thinking, as well as those who might be abused in the future because of some idiot’s misapplication of it (which is bound to occur!), and remind publishers… and the public in general who read their rag… that spousal abuse or domestic violence of ANY kind is wrong; then publish a subsequent article… with the assistance of an abuse expert/specialist (who might actually educate them as to their erroneous thinking on this matter!), as well as someone who TRULY possesses holy spirit (since they do NOT!) who might help them see what CHRIST would teach on the matter!)… of course… condemning domestic violence and spousal abuse of ANY kind and using the experience in the former article as an example of what NOT to do; AND be MUCH, MUCH more careful about relating similar experiences in future.

    For me, that’s really the only thing they could do to “cover” their error. They may ask for “forgiveness”, but it is really asking, if you don’t even confess/acknowledge the sin/error?

    Sorry, but their was no excuse for their position on this, given they claim of following/belonging to Christ. He would have never taught such a thing; to the contrary, he would have called the abuser to task for his/her hypocrisy.

    Great mini-survey question! Peace to you!

    Your servant and a slave of Christ,

    SA

  11. StillHaveFaith says:

    I stayed married to an abusive alcoholic for 10 years, primarily due to my programming as one of Jehovahs Witnesse’s, and secondarily due to the programming that occurs with ongoing domestic violence. Once you shut down your feelings and logical reasoning as a coping behavior in order to survive, you end up in a hopeless place of “accepting your fate”. Then when you collapse emotionally and even physically from the ongoing stress and trauma, and then make the mistake of believing that the elders will “help” you, without realizing that they are also programmed to believe that your job as a Christian is to stay married regardless, you will regret the time that you spent with the abuser, and you will continue to reap the long term affects for the rest of your life…..one of the worst effects is the continuing nightmare of your children repeating the violent behaviors that they witnessed or even experienced themselves, or they will be attracted to abusive mates and re-live what you lived. This is called the “Multi-Generational Cycle of Abuse” and your children will continue to suffer the consequences of this. So please ask yourself if Jesus would want this for any of his followers, especially innocent children???!!!

    When you finally reach the end of your rope and are sobbing and begging the elders for compassion, do not be surprised if you get nothing from them except for directions to stay married, guilt tripping, and blaming you for somehow “not being a good enough Christian example” for your mate. Their other common advice is that “it is just persecution for being a Christian and you have to accept it”. If you quit going to the meetings because you are an emotional basket case, and if you even feel “suicidal” (which is common), and you admit this to the elders, do not expect anyone to check back with you to see if you are still alive. They will eventually find out when your husband murders you or you kill yourself, but don’t let that happen. Instead ask Jehovah to help you to get out of the marriage, because HE cares about you and your children, when the elders or others don’t seem to be concerned for your welfare.

    In reality, staying in any abusive relationship is “Volunteering for Victimization” and the emotional and spiritual damages caused by this will not end when you finally have no choice but to walk out the door…..and your children may pay an even higher price than you have.

    • Lise says:

      Thank you how wonderful to hear from a woman who has been there I only wished my own mom had the faith to speak out as you have. Every word you said is truth I’m one of the lucky kids who was able to learn from my moms mistakes.

  12. Erik says:

    All that bible counsel about being meek, calm and mild sounds great, but yeah it’s hard to do and really hasn’t ‘worked’ in the case of mental illness. Be very afraid to give out marriage advice.

  13. Lise says:

    My mother stayed with her “worldly Husband” to show how faithful she could be to Jehovah. This she was told would win him over well my father is dead now. In the thirty years they were married he never was won over to become a witness, he did however get into a drug abuse program to help with his drinking and the abuse stopped.
    unfortunately the dammage of our mother staying with our father was done to all us kids. This included all us girls marrying abusive men and our brothers being abusive to their wives.

    My now ex was a jw husband who gradually worked his way up to getting very violent. I tried to get help from the elders but they only repremanded me and told me I needed to try and dress more sexy in the bedroom. I was told this after I told them of his having a girlfriend.
    I was so devastated by the lack of help and the blame that seem to be put on me that I actually thought of ending my life. Thank goodness I called a hotline for abused women everything they said made sense even though it went against my JW upbringing. In my heart I knew they were telling me what I had been feeling in my heart all along that it was a dangerous situation. I was so desperate for help I left with my child and was homeless I divorced my husband. I did not need two witnesses to prove he was cheating; the bills I got were proff enough.

    I eventually got remarried to a wonderful JW brother who along with me decided to leave the JW when our children were young. We are still very happy and in love with each other and life and have a very close family bond with all our adult kids.

    My wish is that young women who are JW need to find out who they are as an adults first before they marry instead of thinking every jw male is always going to be a good nice husband who will love and protect them. Even JW have abusive men among their ranks but they will never admit to this.
    In the end our mom was going to divorce but the old man died a blessing to be sure. Shame on all those elders who used our mother on stage to recount the abuse and how she was faithful to keep other women and their children in abusive situations.
    My dad did not stop beating her because she was faithful he stopped beating her because he got into a treatment program for drug abuse.

    What training and real schooling do the JW brothers have on domestic violence none. These stories of abusive men turning around are rare, are women willing to sacrafice their children like my mom did, can one live with the guilt of seeing how horrible their childrens lives will turn out.

    I’m one of the lucky kids in my family,I used my own sound reasoning to get help and got it. my other siblings are really messed up and my mother has so many regrets she is not the same JW she used to be, all her kids tell her so many things that hurt her, she now sees the damage of what following brothers uneducated advice did to her family.

    My mother let others think for her on things that had nothing to do with the bible This was about abuse plain and simple.
    In the midst of all this crazyness several of us kids were sexually abused back then by more then one jw and that is another issue kids in abusive violent homes are easy prey in the KH for molesters because they can spot easy targets a mile away.

  14. Erik says:

    Can anyone please translate this for us all?

  15. Anonymous says:

    I understand both sides. Side 1 says: Be kind and compassionate. We are all imperfect. There may be a “solution” to someone’s problem behavior, if you don’t give up (BUT that should always have added to it that if you feel your or your children’s lives are in danger it is o.k. to get out AND stay out!). Side 2 says: No second chances. No mistakes. Risk is always too great. Get out now and stay out. My sister was married to an abusive husband 20 years. She is now divorced for 10 years. She won’t date or remarry because “He didn’t cheat on her, so it is wrong in Jehovah’s eyes.” The “society” needs to stop telling women they HAVE TO hold on forever for the man. That is just handing a man an excuse to not change. And, it is cruel for the woman.

  16. Julia says:

    My ex husband threatened to ‘burn the house down’ with me in it, if I didn’t move out and leave my kids behind.

    At the urging of my sister, I called the police and a women’s shelter. Both took it VERY seriously. The police were willing to go to his place of work and pick him up. The women’s shelter set up beds for me and the children.

    And yet, the elders did nothing. In fact, they forced a face-to-face meeting and tried to force me to go back to my husband, even though he had threatened my life.

    Looking back, I wish I had pressed charges. At the time, I was so weak, it was all I could do to just dig in my heels and not be bullied into putting my life in danger.

    Months later, my ex-husband was interviewed before the entire audience at a circuit assembly. He was paraded before them all as an example of a being a faithful single parent. I was absolutely floored and my first reaction was to take the elders to task over this disgusting situation… then I thought about it and realized that I was safe now, and I just walked away, for good.

  17. Levi says:

    The WT treatment of women is going to catch up to them at some point in the near future. They’re treading into electric Amish territory with their outdated close minded views.

    • StillHaveFaith says:

      Regarding the Amish, the TV show “Amish Out of Order” is very revealing as to the fear and control tactics used by them to keep both women and men enslaved in a religious system that forbids members from leaving or breaking any of their manmade rules unless they are willing to suffer the consequences of “shunning”. Entire families are broken apart, with members having no emotional, spiritual or financial support from their relatives or former friends. The Mormons and Scientology religions also practice the same methods of controlling their members. No one is permitted any questioning or doubts regarding any of the myriads of manmade doctrines. How is this any different from what the WTBTS has been doing all these years, when the Disfellowshipping regulations go way “beyond the things written” in the Bible?

  18. Ann a.k.a Gypsy Sam says:

    The 26 that voted “Yes” to the domestic violence being excusable ought to be ashamed of themselves.
    I successfully rebuilt my life after leaving my abusive ex, when my daughter was an infant, against the advice of the elders (except for one decent elder who said go and don’t look back).
    I had zero support from the hall. Thank goodness for worldly contacts that truly looked out for us.

  19. Crash says:

    I was horrified when I read this article. Women are treated so badly in this organisation…

    • Erik says:

      Maybe it’s a GOOD thing the WTBTS doesn’t appear to use any decent P.R. people or media filters. That whole unabashed part about how Steve hit her for mouthing off (having an opinion) along with her JW mentor whispering in her ear “Who is the one trying to be a Christian here?”- translation;”See how you messed up?” is pretty indefensible when held up to the light.

  20. Erik says:

    GoogleTranslation; How can WT encourage kvinnr to persevere in violent marriages for years just because there may be a small chance that the man may be a jw? Violence is a criminal action, and hundreds of thousands are grossly mutilated in the world annually, and thousands are killed each year because they did NOT .. come away from the man in time, only 30,000 in Russia ALONE. Many have children, what about those who have to witness the abuse?

  21. StillHaveFaith says:

    For any women reading this section, who still believe that you must continue to tolerate abuse “in order that your husband may be won without a word”, it will be a “cold day in hell” before that happens. My husband was not a Witness but went to the Kingdom Hall with me every Sunday for 10 years. This gave me false hope that there was a chance that he would “see the light”. He married the last woman that he was having an affair with, and she spent another 8 years waiting for him to change, until she finally gave up and divorced him also. Her father was also an alcoholic so she was “repeating the pattern”. The woman he is with now is also the daughter of an alcoholic, whereby “history is repeating itself”, and she is a very devoted Baptist who has been praying for him to get sober for the last 25 years. If I would have stayed with him, it would have been 43 years of waiting at this point, and the clock is still ticking.

    For those women who still want to stay within the “organization”, but fear that they cannot remarry again, all they have to do is get legally separated and then wait patiently for their husbands to get into another relationship, which they are bound to do. Let them commit adultery, if they haven’t already, and then you are free. The WTBTS holds this over the heads of women to keep them under their control, just like their husbands do. This is just one serious issue of many others involving the Society, but that is another story involving a very long list….

  22. Excelsior, formerly known as George says:

    It makes me so sad and angry that you ladies have experienced these terrible things.

    There is no excuse for domestic violence. The victim never deserves a beating.

    Of course, many men are abused too, but this terrible crime is mostly directed towards you ladies.

    This is one of the main reasons that I cannot ever go back to being a JW.

    Thank you, ladies, for having the courage to share your stories with us. Rest assured that the majority of right thinking people are on your side.

    I sincerely hope that you all find peace and love in your lives, because you deserve it.

    Peace be with you

    Excelsior!

  23. Freedom says:

    And my mother actually emailed me this article to read as a good thing because my ex husband was abusive towards me.

    Im now really deeply hurt and upset.

    At the time when I left him the elders tried to make me go back, I was told by members of the congregation that he was ‘to nice’ to have ever done such a thing. And later after Id left him that I must have ‘done something to deserve it’, considering I was now an ex witness I must have been showing those tendancies and thats why I was abused.

    I didn’t read the article my mum emailed me as I never bother these days, so Im very shocked and really hurt now.

    How dare they use an example saying basically that ‘if only the wife is good enough to the husband he’ll stop beating her’ How dare they do that. That’s saying to me, saying to all victims of domestic abuse that it was OUR FAULT.

    How loving they truly are.

    I can’t believe my mum emailed me that.

  24. Truthwillsetufree says:

    Notice no details of the 17 years of very probable abuse the Woman had to suffer before her abuser finally takes the plunge himself? That does not matter or does it?

    It is so easy to write off the not just physical but emotional abuse that is so often suffered. Yes you can twist this around and say “but her fine example won him over in the end?” Or you can untwist it and say “her desperate homelife made her an ideal victim of mind control?”. Who are the biggest abusers? Her Husband or the orgainisation she turns to that manipulates her already screwed up thoughts(cos all victims of abuse are made to feel it is theyre fault by the abusers)? “You made me hit you cos u made me angry cos u didn’t cook the tea right/let me steal food money from the kids so i can buy Beer/have the one night stand/aknowledge im boss in this house so heres a slap to remind you”etc…..

    I waffle i know but remember here, a victim of abuse is being encouraged to remain a punch bag (carry her torture stake) so she can prove she is worthy of a place in the JW orgainisation? And all attention is focused on the fact that the abuser eventualy came good in the end and now live happy ever after?….

    Yes, that article must convince thousands of victims of abuse that they really are the cause of the abuse just like that punch, bruise, verbal tirade, sex act, was trying to prove.

    If you are beaten when your down,mentally confused you can often grasp the hand offering to help you up not seeing the real agenda. Iam not saying the sister offering the advice was bad no, she was probably well intentioned but she too was a mind scrambled victim of abuse. Afterall what torture stake was she struggling with herself to be part of Jehovahs org?. We must remember that most Bros and Sisters are well intentioned BUT are the Blind leading the Blind. Only the heads of this orgainisation are privilaged to have the “”All Seeing Eye”…..not all strangers want to show you some Puppies as they say some have more sinister agendas…

    My heart breaks that the phrase “in God we trust” is used so dispicably against the ones who want to.

    May you all have wisdom honesty and insight to trust your Gut feeling. In a fear inspiring way it too is wonderfully made. Or put another way, When it squirms usually it needs to get rid of the crap it has been fed….

    • StillHaveFaith says:

      Thank you for taking the time to write this. By your statements it appears that you have been the victim of abuse yourself. I relate to your comments based on my own background. I am glad you mentioned the effect of “Mind Control”. I just watched an ex-Mormon physician on YouTube who explains how Mind Control works:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8Ng0iyHSks

  25. Papaguy says:

    So is this after your abusive husband kills you or your children are damaged because of the abusive? You give up on them right away, not later as you ‘wait’ for him to change! Your nuts, lady. And your head is in the wrong place!

  26. A.M. Parks says:

    This issue was at the core of my choice to no longer participate in JW religion after 35 years – 13 as a pioneer.
    The abuse I endured from my husband (who was an elder) was not physical in nature, but was deliberate and inexcusable, and only after leaving did I find out that his motives were at least partly tied up in attempting to keep his own pornography habit hidden.
    The response to my decision to leave, from elders especially, was unquestionably unchristian.
    The stand of the Watchtower society – which I do not believe matches Jehovah’s perspective at all – encourages men and women to feel free to treat their spouses in any way they please, knowing that the abused will be unlikely to leave on pain of ostracism and lifetime celibacy, and perpetuates a disgusting problem behind a facade of loving concern.
    I am glad some attention is being brought to this issue. I would challenge the Watchtower not only to correct the misperceptions they promote in citing such examples as ‘Selma & Steve’ as good reason for tolerating abuse, but also to explain why every article they print on the topic of abuse ignores the fact that thousands of their members are being actively abused by spouses who are NOT unbelievers, but active witnesses themselves, often holding privileges within the congregation.
    These problems are at issue supposedly because Christians are not to divorce but to hold marriage in high regard, and yet in actual fact, there can be no respect for the sanctity of marriage in an environment that allows for and fosters such animalistic behavior.

  27. Mary says:

    This experience is aligned with the attitude of JW which is present in all their material including videos. If a husband doesn’t go to the meetings, who should change? A wife of course! Ridiculous. Or if a husband has a problem with porn, who should do something? Surprise, a wife.

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  • LANGUAGE - Visitors from all countries and language groups are welcome. You may post comments in languages other than English, but we would appreciate if you could make any such comments brief. We would also be grateful if you could run any such comments through Google Translate and convert these to English, but this is not an absolute requirement.
  • LINKS - You may post links to third party websites, so long as (1) you limit these to 2 links per comment, and (2) the content on these links doesn't contravene ANY of the first four points. Specifically, you may not post URLs to websites that are evangelical in nature. Our links page has an extensive list of such sites for any who are curious about Christian beliefs in the context of Jehovah's Witnesses.

JWSurvey.org thanks all visitors in advance for respectfully observing these guidelines. Any who persistently fail to do so, despite warnings, may find themselves blocked from making further comments at the discretion of the site moderators, whose decision will be final and not open for debate.