The Australian Royal Commission highlighted the cruelty of Watchtower's shunning policy
The Australian Royal Commission highlighted the cruelty of Watchtower’s shunning policy

My fellow JWsurvey team members have written extensively on the Australian Royal Commission and Geoffrey Jackson’s testimony in particular. But I hope you will indulge me in revisiting what transpired, especially in light of Watchtower’s defence against Angus Stewart’s findings.

Jackson’s testimony gave the Commission, along with the entire internet, a glimpse into the inner mind of a multi-billion dollar high control group. His presence was unprecedented, especially when you consider that one of his colleagues was recently found evading a subpoena in America.

Early into his testimony, the Commission made sure Jackson understood that its purpose is benevolent, and not to be construed as an attack. He wholeheartedly agreed to this premise, and told the Commission that he was happy to testify.

The hard truth

Once the testimonies were complete, the Senior Council, Angus Stewart, released a report on his findings. On going through them it’s easy to see why they first stressed their good intentions. Quite simply, what they found was a slough of cruel and inhumane practices that put children, and the public at large, under threat.

Organized shunning was something they took a close look at. Among a list of grievances on the practice, they had this to say on its ultimate purpose:

“[The practice of shunning] is adopted and enforced in order to prevent people from leaving the organisation and thereby to maintain its membership”

If you’re going to submit a report about an organization that claims they employ emotional blackmail to maintain membership, it could very well be misinterpreted as an attack. And that’s exactly how Jackson and his Governing Body reacted. Their response, in the form of a submission of their own, was predictable (emphasis added):

“This suggested finding ought not be made because:

(a) there was no evidence given to the Commission upon which it could be based – no documents were or are referred to by Counsel Assisting and no oral testimony is referred to containing any admission which could support such a finding;

(b) it is not true as a matter of fact – Jehovah’s Witnesses are a voluntary faith-based organisation that persons are free to join and to leave;

(c) Jehovah’s Witnesses were not asked to address the Commission on such a question. Had it been raised beforehand, it could have and would have been addressed directly by testimony from persons inside and outside of the faith;

(d) it is not at all relevant to the Commission’s Terms of Reference;

(e) it is an unfounded, unfair and unnecessary attack upon a voluntary faith-based organisation that is law-abiding and does much to promote lawful conduct within Australia and around the world through its exertions; and

(f) if the finding could not be made in a Court of law, it ought not be made by the Commission.”

Simply put, the leaders of the Watchtower Society cannot handle the truth about their own practices. Historically, when anyone points out the cruel and unethical nature of their policies they can only cry persecution. Many times in the past they’ve been confronted with these issues, and they’ve reacted in the same way: by claiming they’re the victims of an “unfounded, unfair and unnecessary attack.”

It’s a standard religious cult defensive tactic. They deny and dismiss any and all criticisms while claiming their religious freedom is under siege. This can have the effect of garnering support from inside and out of the organization.

Professional victims

In psychology there is something called “playing the victim,” which can help explain the reasons behind the Watchtower’s behaviour when criticised. Sometimes, an abuser will try to persuade others that they are the one being victimised. When they do this, it can serve as not only a distraction, but a justification to themselves as a way of resolving their own cognitive dissonance that rises due to their behaviour. It also can serve as a justification to others, because it helps them escape the harsh judgement they may fear others will direct towards them.

On the last day of 2014 I posted an article that delved into Section 4 of the Watchtower’s new highly sanitised history book. The article was, in part, meant to bring to the forefront the Watchtower’s absurd view of themselves in the courtroom. They want people to see them as victims who rose to the challenge and fought off their oppressors with the helping hand of God.

No doubt they now see the Australian Royal Commission as merely another minion from the devil sent to destroy their reputation and attack their faith. Their submission is a prime example of why the Commission found their teachings to foster a distrust of secular authorities. How can any Jehovah’s Witness trust the Commission, or anyone who supports them, when the Watchtower has claimed to have been attacked by them?

It’s the same tired narrative that was played all throughout the 20th century by not just the Watchtower, but all religious cults. The 21st century, on the other hand, finally has a chance to close the book, because now the internet exists and is in full swing.

The real victims

The Senior Council rightly assessed the practice of shunning to be detrimental both to the shunned and the shunners. So sinister is the policy that it creates a “shun or be shunned” environment. It is well within Watchtower’s power to lift this burden from its members, but they flatly refuse.

I cannot help but be reminded of a story in the book of Exodus. Moses had been commissioned by God to go and deliver a message to the Pharaoh of Egypt. The king was to immediately free all the Israelite slaves, but Pharaoh refused to give in even under threat. Plague by plague passed by, and still the Pharaoh would not budge.

The woes that befell Egypt in the story serve as a sound metaphor for the psychological torture that mandated shunning causes in the minds of Jehovah’s Witnesses. How many more tragedies will it take before Watchtower understands that it is unethical, and lets people go from the scourge of this cruel and inhumane practice?

It isn’t the Watchtower and their deity who are the victims here, it’s the millions of people who constantly live under the threat of losing access to the ones they hold dear. It’s the people who cannot be with their loved ones simply because they no longer lead a lifestyle that the Governing Body endorses.

It’s high time for those people to be set free.

The bottom line

The fact is, Jehovah’s Witnesses have an enormous material value to the organization. Together, the membership spends upwards of 2 billion hours preaching in the field and making new converts each year.

They donate their time, their resources and their hard-earned money to what is referred to as “kingdom interests.” They also have children, and subject these to indoctrination, which increases the chances they will become life-long contributors.

Mandated shunning effectively protects the investment Watchtower makes in human beings. It protects their bottom line which, as with a business, is really the top priority. If people could just walk away without any serious repercussions, then they would – and they’d take their time and money with them.

Imagine if shunning was truly a personal decision for each individual member. Suppose it were not a mandated religious edict? Just imagine how much easier it would be for the Jehovah’s Witness faith to grow and prosper if it did not have such a toxic reputation as a “captive organization” weighing it down!

Sure, many would seize their chance and exit if shunning were abolished, but those who remained would be sincere followers, and would have a much easier time selling their beliefs to an increasingly skeptical internet-savvy world.

Despite what people like Geoffrey Jackson would have their members believe, shunning is ultimately detrimental to EVERYONE – the shunned, the shunners, and those who mandate the shunning. It’s an archaic practice better left in antiquity where it belongs. I wholeheartedly believe it has no place in our future, and I hope one day the leaders of Watchtower can see this too.

 

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109 thoughts on “The Friday Column: Shunning – a toxic practice in which EVERYONE ultimately loses

  • January 15, 2016 at 12:49 pm
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    Well said.

  • January 15, 2016 at 12:57 pm
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    The law on domestic abuse has now been changed in the uk to include coersive and controling behavior causing mental or emotional abuse on a close relative giving them diststress is now a criminal offence carrying a possible jail term of 5 years or a heavy fine . This is just the sort of behavior the study WT of feb 2016 is advocating to a daughter to do to her dfs mother although the motherbis in distress the daughter refused to speak or visit instead sending a letter telling her “if you want to stop the pain you must return to jehovah ” plain and simple blackmail evil

    • January 19, 2016 at 8:35 am
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      I can’t really comprehend the hurting effect of shunning to me. Now I lost all my family and I live everyday sad. I pray that God will help me and those like me

    • January 19, 2016 at 9:09 am
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      Is there a way to make UK courts, lawyers etc aware of this? Maybe along with more newspapers’ articles?
      What about a court case? Would that be possible to make more aware the WT of the situation?
      As far as shunning I believe it is a personal decision:
      I avoid socializing with you if your company will affect negatevely on my personal life; if your company will damage my behaviour also in a Christian sense. I object that the WT imposes it, it is I who decides of the possible dangers of associating with an unbeliever who left the congregation. Obviously I could not sat this at the KH, but this is my view. After all Paul wrote to the christian congregation and exhorted them not to eat with a person calling himself brother but indeed a sinner. Therefore, I cannot see a compulsory law enforcing this action, just an advise for one’s personal protection which frankly will be implemented very rarely in my opinion. Why, for example, young children have to be subjected not to know their relatives simply because they were born in a family of disfellowshipped ones?

  • January 15, 2016 at 1:25 pm
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    The leadership can deny shunning all they like but they do teach and enforce shunning. Members are continually programmed to believe that it is a question of loyalty to God. The Society MAKES it a matter of loyalty to God.

    I tried to fade and have been shunned for 15 years. I’ve lost my son, my grandson (whom I’ve never seen), my sister, and my nephews and nieces–almost my entire family.

    The fact that I’m still a person of faith counts as nothing because this isn’t about one’s faith in God, Christ, or the Bible. What is IS about faith in the Governing Body’s interpretations.

    And it IS about the money. This also impacts inheritances, as well. What shunned person sees any inheritance from those who have cut him/her out of their lives? In this way, the Society also benefits by keeping more of the money within the organization, instead of some of it going to the outside.

    The lack of humility is appalling. Imagine a group of men holding their own teachings in such high regard, they are willingly to break apart families? Heartbreaking. Lawmakers should step in and penalize those perpetrating this abuse.

    • January 15, 2016 at 9:54 pm
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      Sorry for your experience Athlyn.You are spot on in your comment inheritance included ! Shame to them ” to the leadership” Devil get them as well as anybody else whom money means more than love and integrity. …best wishes and hugs,

  • January 15, 2016 at 1:41 pm
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    Great article man!!! Good job:-)

  • January 15, 2016 at 1:56 pm
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    Brilliant article. As a third generation JW shunning was so ingrained I did it automatically. What a shock when I spoke out about the “2 witness policy” and experienced shunning first-hand. Although never officially disfellowshiped WT.org inssit on ‘their way or the highway’. The effects of shunning where so cruel and dehumanising my husband and I had to sell our home and move.

    • January 15, 2016 at 4:46 pm
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      Speaking out! A sin worse than fornication and even CHILD ABUSE according to watchtower.

      • January 15, 2016 at 9:57 pm
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        unfortunately u are right ” you can blaspheme God nor nor GB ” :-) or :-(

    • January 15, 2016 at 6:25 pm
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      Lessa, the same thing happened to me. Just a “hint” of stepping out of the robot line and BAM. You cannot even show a twinkling of doubt without being noticed and collectively shunned back into line. Ay yi yi.

  • January 15, 2016 at 2:20 pm
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    For more years(my understanding) it show’s that changings of the doctrines by GB are not based on Proverbs 4:18 but……vers 19

  • January 15, 2016 at 2:23 pm
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    Great stuff well spoken and so true.

  • January 15, 2016 at 2:35 pm
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    This info is put together very nicely. I’ve never really given much thought to what this does to the person that shuns, but they’re just being ‘good little soldiers’, and any of us, at some time in our life have possibly done the same thing.
    Thank you for your article.

  • January 15, 2016 at 2:57 pm
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    Great stuff, saddens me to realise i can’t do similar, but each little bit we do counts and as you said the internet will ultimately destroy their phony heartless religion… Well i think you said that… Keep up the fight.

  • January 15, 2016 at 3:06 pm
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    Brilliant piece! Of course shunning is relevant to the topic of sexual abuse. The fear of being shunned and driven out of the WT outfit and thus be subject to Armageddon execution, will be yet another incentive for victims of sexual abuse to obey the abusive bosses, keep quiet, and thus be allowed to remain in ‘Jehovah’s organisation.’

    I trust the Commission will treat the JW objection to their findings with the contempt it deserves.

  • January 15, 2016 at 3:22 pm
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    James

    Thank you for this article. It is very timely for me.

    I recently had contact with a family member who shuns me, yet denies doing so.

    The recent contact was the most cold-hearted and emotionally detached correspondence I have ever read. Hateful.

    They have no comprehension of unconditional love.

    The above comments are also so true – the new domestic abuse laws in the UK cover this very topic. Manipulating another person by cutting off communication with them is now officially seen as abuse.

    I will ensure to draw this to the attention of the Charity Commission.

    As for the other matter of inheritance – so true. I was not even considered worthy to receive a single item of my non-JW grandparents memorabilia.

    For me the impact of the JW Cult has been a lifelong torture.

  • January 15, 2016 at 3:51 pm
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    I will comment on something which may not get a favorable response. Not sure. Although I agree in principle that shunning should be an individual decision, I personally found being shunned by all JWs to be of enormous benefit for my life. But that’s probably because I was raised as a Witness and the lifestyle was engrained in me. Basically all my friends were Witnesses, so if I had not been shunned, it may have been difficult for me to move on. Complete removal was what I needed to get to the next stage of my life. Otherwise I might still be stuck in JW limbo. Of course it’s different for everyone, and I still miss my friends, and I still agree WT’s shunning policy is no good. But when I look at my life now, how far I’ve come and how much more I’ve done with my life since leaving the organization, personally, I’m actually glad I was shunned.

    • January 15, 2016 at 6:52 pm
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      I think the majority would agree that its the breaking of the natural family bond that is extremely disturbing and unnecessary. (But I get what you mean- getting away from it all helped you wake up) what you are really proving is that there is NO NEED to shun. People should be able to leave or stay and it should be that simple.

    • January 15, 2016 at 10:01 pm
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      you made valid point and there might be some benefit to some as in your case…

    • January 16, 2016 at 4:43 am
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      @Jarred Booth.Jarred, I see your reasoning and in your case it made you move on 100% which is good. However, you would never have been in that position or even had to think that way IF the WT did not have such vicious teachings!

      If you had belonged to a “NORMAL” Christian religion that was just faith based on the bible and not a Cult Religion you would have been free to read the bible on your own, live a normal life, pursue dreams and go to college, get an education and not be scared to have an open forum on the bible or other teachings etc. So it all stems from the horrible teachings of the Wt and their view on shunning and dozens of other hateful archaic teachings.

      It isn’t your fault that “WE” you were connected to that religion and we are put in a position of emotional distress and fear that if we think outside the Box our entire family and friends will never speak with us again. It is us Jerrod it is THEM.

    • January 16, 2016 at 9:30 am
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      @Jarred Booth
      I am simply a fader, not DF’d or DA’d, so I am not officially shunned by the Org policy, but I am shunned by many former friends and relatives. But to the spirit of your point, who needs friends and relatives like that? When I was first fading and I realized that this treatment was likely an inevitability, I began to withdraw gradually from the family and friends in order to prepare myself. In some ways it was similar to an article I once read on reverse disfellowshipping. I still see my parents and some other family members a few times a year, but relations are tense and I am happy when the visit is over. I much prefer the company of my non-JW friends and family, whose friendship is much less conditional.

      But keep mind that people with children and grandchildren may have a much more difficult time with the effects of shunning (and I am not trying to minimize the pain this causes for those with other circumstances). My wife is in and she takes my children along with her (one is baptized) which is I why I faded and did not DA. If I was a young, single person I might try the “cold turkey” approach you suggest.

      Shunning is so unnatural and cruel that each individual will need to determine the best way to personally deal with it or how to try to avoid it.

      WS

  • January 15, 2016 at 3:55 pm
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    My congregation gave a marking talk about me last summer or spring. I don’t know when it was but people in the congregation knew the talk was about me because the elder described me so quite a few won’t even look at me, when I am standing just a few feet away from me when I am in line, either at the bank or at the grocery store. They drive past me and act like they don’t see me.

    Some others do talk to me and are friendly. One such “sister” yesterday was only about three feet away from me when I was at the bank and she refused to look at me, even though I stood there, facing her for several minutes. I have known this person for upwards of thirty five years and I was so angry that I was cussing her out in my mind for the rest of the day and even today, I was telling myself how much I truly hate her for the way she treated me yesterday.

    There have been many, many people who used to associate with at the Kingdom Hall and I was quite friendly with and they stopped going to the meetings, but I never once treated them like that. Whenever I see them, I was always friendly. To me, if you want to catch some flies, you give them honey and not vinegar. The people who shun us are giving us vinegar in the hopes that we will “return” to the congregation and then have the fun of being able to “associate” with them again.

    I am not that desperate for company that I will stoop to going back to the meetings so that I can have those peoples’ company. Why would I want to go to the meetings again when I am being shunned by those so-called “friends” for not even doing anything wrong?

    They are being taught that if they shun us for not going to meetings or if we got disfellowshipped for some sort of wrong doing, then we will miss them so much that we will want to “return” to the congregation and then live through Armageddon.

    I was also brainwashed into thinking that shunning was going to save their lives. I didn’t do it because I hated them but I also thought I was saving their lives by shunning them but at least I would look at them and smile at them, at least acknowledging that they existed on the earth and I made them think that I cared about them anyway, even if I couldn’t talk to them.

    Shunning doesn’t work in attracting people.

    When people are shunned, it is serving them vinegar and not honey. I think the Society knows full well that shunning doesn’t “draw” people back to the congregation, but it actually “repels” them instead but the Society doesn’t care because the most important thing that the Society wants to accomplish is to shut us up so that we can’t talk about all the lies and cover ups, pure and simple but the rank and file don’t realize they are being used as pawns in the Society’s evil game.

    People who shun stupidly think they are saving our lives by shunning us, but that doesn’t make me hate them any less for not being smart enough to see how counter productive shunning is. I actually pity them because they are pissing away their one and only lives over nothing important at all: like what they think they are doing is important and it’s not important at all.

    They are the real losers, just the rest of us all were, until we woke up.

    • January 15, 2016 at 10:07 pm
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      I like your analogy get the fly on “of honey or vinegar”…

    • January 16, 2016 at 1:43 am
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      People weren’t acknowledging me in public even before I DA’d. That’s OK, they never had anything useful or interesting to say anyway. lol

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:44 am
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      @Caroline
      Forgive me if I say that I sense some of your pain, anger, and frustration coming through. Believe me, I feel it too. But being angry at the individual doing the shunning is somewhat misdirected. They are simply victims of cult influence, as we all were at one time. But knowing that doesn’t make the situation any less uncomfortable. At least you can rest assured that they were equally uncomfortable with the situation, although they may have later bragged to their fellow drones about giving you the cold shoulder.

      You could always try addressing them directly and in a friendly manner. “Hey so and so, it’s so nice to see you.” Especially if they are not with other JWs, it will be really hard for them to ignore you in front of the other people in the bank or wherever. If they still fail to acknowledge you, the other people will wonder what’s going on and it may even bring to light the poor treatment within the org. It would take some “cahones” I realize – and it is much easier to type than to do – but if you can be friendly and kind on your end, it will (to quote scripture) ‘rake fiery coals upon their heads’. I’d guess that 95% of the time people will naturally respond to a warm greeting in like manner. About 5% are just real a$$holes and will continue directly shun you in the face of a kind word.

      WS

  • January 15, 2016 at 4:10 pm
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    A friend of mine told me his Mother was warned by her son in law that he noticed her meeting attendance and field service dropping off. He said that if she stops going to the meetings she will never see her daughter or grand children again. How Christ like and loving these hypocrites are!

    • January 16, 2016 at 1:46 am
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      Heartless

    • January 16, 2016 at 4:55 am
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      @wanderer. That is Brutal hate and I believe it is against the law also. There have been court cases against that and the JW’s and others like them have lost. However, why would anyone have to go through that to start with. My wife who is a JW fanatic and brainwashed on everything WT will not tolerate any kind of talk that even smacks of doubt about the WT. We are currently separated and yesterday I was texting her and we got into a discussion about religion and I kept saying there is a difference between “FAITH” and Religion. I told her they are 2 separate things bc religion dictates rules and regulations that are always changing. Faith is something you have in your heart and mind and is not subject to Man and rules etc.

      I said if the WT was about Faith then they would not need to Shun and DF people all the time for anything they feel like. She went off on me telling me how I had false reasoning and hey are the only ones preaching all over the earth today etc.

      I told her shunning was cruel and a way to control the people. She fired back that it is in the Bible and keeps the Cong clean? I said so that means we cannot read the bible on our own and com to a different conclusion than the WT? By the way we are not living together anymore. I have not been to meetings in 20 years and faded long ago.

      • January 16, 2016 at 11:53 am
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        @Holy Connoli,
        Classic case of cognitive dissonance on your wife’s part. I get it from my JW relatives too. The Preaching, the Preaching, the Preaching. Never mind that the things preached constantly change. Never mind that numerous predictions preached have failed. Never mind that Christians have preached long before there were any JWs around.

        JWfacts has a great article at: http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/preach.php which shows that many other religions preach with much greater success than the witnesses.

        WS

    • January 16, 2016 at 12:02 pm
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      The son-in-law sounds like a complete obsessive, male chauvinist, control-freak, pig (some other more colorful adjectives come to mind as well). That’s the kind of worship that God wants, right? People held hostage by means of their families.

      My cousin’s husband made a similar threat to an aunt who had stopped attending meetings back when they had their first kid. It lasted about 3 months until the young couple needed a baby sitter so they could go out to dinner. Then all of a sudden the ban was lifted. While I’m glad they didn’t continue to carry out the threat, it shows what a load of crap it was. And I certainly know of other JWs that have made good on such threats.

      WS

  • January 15, 2016 at 4:14 pm
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    Look! Its hard keeping a doomsday cult going a hundred years after it should have been laugh at and forgotten. If they don’t blackmail their membership they will have to get jobs or another scam to make the kind of money that they are used too.

    • January 16, 2016 at 1:48 am
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      Good point. They’re a bunch of bums. It’s an emotional Mafia.

  • January 15, 2016 at 4:52 pm
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    Great article and observations James. The gb/organization is only concerned with maintaining the status quo. They would rather lose some of their best people than give that up.
    If they ever gave up the shunning policy it would be the end of watchtower, and they know it. The uber faithful would remain but how many comprise this elite group? They are not eager to find out lest they go the way of the worldwide church of God.

  • January 15, 2016 at 5:13 pm
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    I couldn’t agree more with your bottom line. Thank you for revisiting this topic again, as this was what WOKE ME UP. I’m new here, but get used to hearing from me once I stop “bleeding out” from being completely sliced right open when the real truth about “the truth.” Still in a bit of shock. For all the writers here- I say keep up the good work.

    • January 15, 2016 at 10:10 pm
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      u to bro,best wishes !

    • January 16, 2016 at 12:09 pm
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      @Sliced
      Welcome to the site. Hope to hear more from you. We are all at different stages of recovery from the damage done to us by this cult. I find it helps to share our thoughts and experiences.

      WS

    • January 17, 2016 at 8:44 am
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      Welcome Sliced :) I hope you start to heal somewhat with us. We are all at various stages and we need the support. I’m sure you will be invaluable to our merry little band.

      • January 19, 2016 at 4:39 am
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        …Newest Member of the 5th Column! Ha!!

        • January 19, 2016 at 4:40 am
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          Welcome Recruit. U have been assimilated. lol

  • January 15, 2016 at 6:00 pm
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    Very well written.

  • January 15, 2016 at 6:07 pm
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    I agree with Brent. Don’t expect any sympathy or changes from Watchtower; they are a dangerous cult, their only objective is to make more members/get more money. They have no interest in treating people ethically or kindly, that is not their purpose. If anyone should be paying attention and forcing changes to that despicable organization – it should be the authorities.

    • January 16, 2016 at 1:50 am
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      …& they’re getting WORSE!!!

      • January 16, 2016 at 12:12 pm
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        @A4
        The more things come to light about their abusive control, the more they will tighten their grip on those who remain.

        WS

        • January 19, 2016 at 4:49 am
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          …& in the words of Princess Leia Organa, “The more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers…”

          • January 19, 2016 at 8:18 am
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            Oh the force is strong in this one…..

    • January 19, 2016 at 1:10 am
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      I’m on the same boat..although the distancing came even before the fade…

      Part of my story. Ive been holding this in for quite some time. A sister invited me over for coffee a few years ago because we were in the KH restroom discussing how busy we all were and we were lonely. Thought some good sister time might help me feel more positive about the congregation, etc.. I arrived just before 2 other sisters (surprise), who are pioneers, and one of their husbands came in with bottles of liquor. Mind you. My husband and I have stopped using alcohol because it’s a problem for us. I don’t expect ones to abstain just because I’m there, but it wasn’t part of the plan.
      They all proceeded to get drunk very fast, drinking it straight and having conversation with each other about inside jokes and their family members.. They were all related. I was so stunned, it was like being thrust in a bizarre movie – the chauvanistic, inebriated brother was verbally abusive. The sisters were shrill and out of it. I should have left right away, but finally found an out when one of the sister pioneers arm wrestled her brother in law, and they ended up woozily on the floor. No kidding. I was there about 2 hrs.
      Went home crying to my husband. I felt like I’d been stabbed in the back. What a let- down. My last ditch effort at bonding was a disaster.

      Well, the punchline is that when they sobered up, I started getting texts inquiring if the Bros behavior had been a bit strange to me, was I ok? Did I want to meet for lunch? Etc.. I didnt respond at all. And since this was the ‘in crowd’, I didnt tell anyone but my husband about this. So guess who got the cold shoulder from then on from all the pioneer sisters who love their long car group gossip days?!?
      I had been waking up gradually, but that really confirmed what I was learning about the modus operandi of the ‘power players’. When in fear, start a rumor..hint, distract.
      No one has treated me the same since. Now as I’ve faded from meetings and service, no calls, visits, nothing. Nothing. This is what has happened me, a 20 yr. formerly busy witness, good commenter (in my own words from actual digging), and many time host for the CO visit.
      So glad I never complete gave the borg my mind…

      PS..I have a new phone, but I’ve still got old one with those texts. Guess I’m still a bit bitter when I think about it..

      • January 19, 2016 at 4:46 am
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        How ignorant. Having u there, & talking about stuff that only relates to THEM. Typical. Said it before & I’ll say it again, Those people are a JOKE.

  • January 15, 2016 at 8:35 pm
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    Beautiful analysis, profound and poetic even.

  • January 15, 2016 at 9:09 pm
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    The only way to fix this is to give a substantial fine to anyone who announces (Disfellowshipped, Disassociated, Marked, etc.) this at the KH.

    The UK is in the right directions, but what parent or child will take their family to court and have them face possible prison. Squeeze the real culprits who keep this going in the pocketbook.

    If the elders and Watchtower know they were going to be hurt financially every time an announcement was made then pretty soon there would be no elders to run the show. I am sure that the WT then would have an epiphany and come out with some new light.

    • January 15, 2016 at 10:11 pm
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      good point an observation…

    • January 16, 2016 at 1:52 am
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      Money talks.

    • January 18, 2016 at 4:38 am
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      @DeepThinker
      The trouble is that they’ve already got this covered by changing the announcement they make at the KH. They did this quite a few years ago now. It just states that the person ‘is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses’, which is probably true as most that are shunned don’t want to be recognised as such (but we all know the far-reaching consequences of such an announcement) and you can’t sue a person for making a true non-sensitive statement (at least I think you can’t). The courts would have to link that announcement to the fact that the person is being shunned because of it and we all know how tricky solicitors (lawyers) are, especially the ones employed by the WTS!

      • January 19, 2016 at 4:53 am
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        …The Watchtower Trickery Society!!!

      • January 19, 2016 at 8:28 am
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        This is so true. It’s like the marking talks that are given… no names mentioned but enough information so that everyone knows who is being talked about…. I remember the elder who gave the ‘local needs’ just before the marking talk… he gave all the information about attending df’s persons weddings or weddings to non witnesses and then made sure he said ‘and we as Christians wouldn’t want to be involved in that would we……. of course, this is only my personal opinion.. everyone has their own conscience.’ Too late, the toxic seed had been sown. So when the marking talk was given, with no names everyone followed the council given.
        Now legally all bases had been covered. How can you take that to court for defamation of character or proof of shunning. No names mentioned, your own conscience….

  • January 15, 2016 at 10:13 pm
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    Thanks James for your article well written ,very good analysis also positive conclusion ! keep up good job

  • January 15, 2016 at 10:51 pm
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    I got shunned because my meeting attendance was down and field service was down, all of a sudden I was not invited to get togethers and many at the KH I had known for decades hardly spoke to me, though some did and were kind but the majority avoided me like I was a criminal or immoral person, yet if they knew the secrets of the WT on hiding criminal child rapists, the elders know yet I never had one call and I am a widow on my own not a call only to ask for my field service report, its a sad situation for many in this religion, and the emotional abuse is rampant.

    any wonder many are so discouraged and feel so unloved like they are nothing even to the many you may have helped and reached out to when they were week.

    • January 15, 2016 at 11:49 pm
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      I know that feeling. I hope that you are ok Kat.

      It shows you don’t have to be disfelloshipped to be shunned, this high control group can shun you for not performing exactly as they want you to.

      Unconditional love of a worldwide brotherhood we were told, pity they didn’t talk about all of their conditions on the unconditional!

      • January 16, 2016 at 5:20 am
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        ^disfellowshipped^ that should be, I really do know how to spell ;)

      • January 16, 2016 at 3:55 pm
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        Yes, they don’t just want SOME level of performance, but rather EXACT robotic conformance. Any slight deviation from their prescribed level of performance, speech, or even thought can be reason for maltreatment and/or shunning. So much like the governmental control in Orwell’s 1984.

        As for the leaders that claim to be shepherding the flock, they fulfill the scripture: “They profess to know God, but they deny Him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, and disqualified for any good work.”

        WS

        • January 16, 2016 at 11:04 pm
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          I heard the saying “their a bad association” so many times while I was still going. They judge people who are still going to meetings but for whatever personal reason are not living up to the standards of their peers, for something as trivial as poor preaching hours per month or poor meeting attendance.
          From what I saw in several congregations if people don’t measure up to or fit in with the “in crowd” eg. Elders MS Pioneers and especially their wives, then you can forget about being included in JW social activities.
          Shunning in the JWs happens on multiple levels and it is their way of control, you don’t need to be disfellowshipped to be shunned.
          If any JW is reading this and doesn’t believe that, let your field service and meeting attendance drop off and for only a few months and see how quickly the love shown to you by your long time friends and loving brothers wanes.

          • January 19, 2016 at 8:40 am
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            Absolutely true

    • January 16, 2016 at 1:55 am
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      Ingrates.

    • January 16, 2016 at 2:01 am
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      Kat- that has been entirely my experience too. I stopped going to the Sunday meeting two and a half years ago and stopped putting a report in three years ago and stopped all meetings six months ago and have not had ONE enquiry as to why- I am nearly 60 and have been in this all my life!! BUT at least I am not being hounded by anyone- quite the reverse- if I bump into anyone in the town centre they sort of scuttle away- I have seen three elders recently on separate occasions and been very friendly and they couldn’t get away quick enough-no ‘How are you sister? We miss you at the meetings’ just rushing off as though I have leprosy!
      Do not feel depressed by this- feel pity for them.
      It’s better than being constantly questioned as to why.
      You will get over the hurt and you must rise above it.
      Otherwise it is continuing to control your life.

      • January 16, 2016 at 5:04 am
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        @sisterdrifter. Sorry to hear about the way they are treating you but it is to be expected. Please remember that many of them KNOW what they are doing is wrong and stupid but they are “SHEEPLE” and not allowed to think for themselves. When I was an Elder and saw a df person or a person who was being Shunned I would say hello to them and talk small stuff to them to be cordial. I would also say we miss you at the meetings etc and hope to see you soon.I knew in my heart I was being wrong and did not like the shunning policy but had to go along with it.

        I am around your age also but I tell you I have been out and faded for over 20 years now and you will be much better without them bc it is so conditional. There is no debt to them or to the religion although there are good people in the JW’s but they are not allowed to think for themselves. Well, It is A cult! bottom line.

        • January 16, 2016 at 7:19 am
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          I am not disfellowshipped but have merely stopped attending and the shunning has began.
          I’m actually ok about it- I feel sat for them not me.

  • January 16, 2016 at 12:33 am
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    I’m just wondering if we are getting to the point where so many people are leaving the BORG, isn’t the shunning getting too difficult?!? I mean when you have to shun so many old friends and family, you’ll just have to give it up.

    The Watchtower will never give up shunning, just like their are stupidly clinging to the “2 witness rule” in regards to sexual abuse. That’s great! They are only shooting themselves in the foot by being so stubborn and unfeeling. It will be their undoing.

    In the meantime, we all have to suffer. Just know that our suffering will help bring down this lying, evil, publishing corporation.

  • January 16, 2016 at 1:55 am
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    Destroyed families are a common denominator in all JW families! It’s the real fruitage by which you can recognise this organisation. Shunning is such a destructive practice, so I wonder if it will ever get abolished? At the time my father was disfellowshipped most of my family was in the truth. This was such a traumatic experience for everybody, that years later, most of the family has left the JW’s. The few remaining family members in the truth are by consequence now reverse shunned, because they still refuse to see my dad! My family is quite large and we had about 3 generations of indoctrination. It’s just funny how this aggressive practice of shunning is a two edge sword. It doesn’t really have much effect when there’s only 2 persons left doing the shunning and everybody else is getting along!! Haha.

    • January 16, 2016 at 9:57 am
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      KL that is exactly it! You hit the nail on the head. The real fruitage of the WT spirit is there ability to shun people in the name of God and believe they are doing what is right! By this all will know they are gods people!

    • January 16, 2016 at 4:07 pm
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      @KL
      I don’t think you’ll ever see shunning just totally disappear. But it may slowly ease up as they continue to loose membership and come under pressure from the government and law suits.

      Does anyone recall that many decades ago they used to say ‘so and so was disfellowshipped for adultery’? When I was a kid they would just say someone was disfellowshipped, but not why. Then they changed it to ‘so and so is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.’ They changed the announcement because of legal action. But the internal meaning stayed the same. They are cagey and deceitful in that way, which is why change will be slow.

      WS

      • January 17, 2016 at 1:36 am
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        Youre Right! They wont completely abolish disfellowshipping. That would mean admitting they were wrong. But as the downward pressure on membership continues they’ll come out with something like ” it’s a personal decision as to how much association you can have with your disfellowshipped loved ones”. This will take the pressure of the situation and people will be able to talk to their children again without getting reproved!! New light!!! Thank you Jehovah. And then, if you wait long enough, they will start denying they ever told people not to talk to their children in the first place! Ohhh no, we never said that! Lol

        • January 17, 2016 at 7:32 am
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          @KI
          Yes, maybe they will ease up like they did with blood fractions, making it a conscience matter. I believe the reason they did this (perhaps other posters can shed more light) is so that they could get legal recognition in more lands. In order to get legal recognition in Romania, as I recall, they told the government that any use of blood would be a conscience matter and no negative repercussions would result if a JW there decided to accept a transfusion (they lied about this of course). I think Cedars might have posted an article about this a while back.

          So maybe if governments begin to bring pressure on them about the strictness of their shunning rules, they may lighten up a bit.

          WS

          • January 17, 2016 at 10:12 am
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            Good point!! I think they stopped disfellowshipping people over the blood issue in the late eighties. Fear of legal action seems to make previous disfellowshipping offences magically turn into ” conscience matters”. This is just speculation , but with the threat of terrorism and the crackdown on Muslim hate preachers we might very well see the law take an interest in groups that are inciting to hatred or coercion. I could foresee in the near future a court case about disfellowshipping being lost by the organisation. They pride themselves on fighting for religious freedom but deny their members those very rights. Sooner or later a judge will recognise the danger in this!!

  • January 16, 2016 at 2:15 am
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    Time to get medieval & be a harsh S.O.B. IMHO, Jehovah’s Witnesses practice shunning, cover up child abuse, & protect pedophiles, essentially because they are HATERS. They hate children, & by extension, all humanity. They secretly relish the heinous acts, probably fantasizing about them. They CERTAINLY fantasize about fire & brimstone coming down out of heaven to consume 8 billion humans! They are dysfunctional, sociopathic Narcissists, like the Nazis. The Nazis were essentially low-lifes, misfits, & outright thugs, but slap on a nice uniform & a swastika, & Presto! – instant Big Shot. I call them Haters, Haters, Haters! & I don’t apologize for it.

    • January 16, 2016 at 2:25 am
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      P.S. Anyone who doubts the “fire & brimstone” fantasy, just check out some of their artwork!!

    • January 16, 2016 at 9:59 am
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      Well said.

    • January 16, 2016 at 4:18 pm
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      @A4
      Your points are valid. I have often thought that if for some reason the governments fell and all we had to establish order was the JW religion (much like the dark ages) we would soon have burning at the stake, beheadings, stonings, and all manner of abuse of any and all dissidents.

      There is a great short story called “Diary of an Armageddon Survivor” that plays out this scenario at: http://www.1timothy4-13.com/files/bible/diary.html.

      WS

  • January 16, 2016 at 3:44 am
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    Hi sister drifter, I am a senior myself, but I really do love the b/s and I feel sad that they did not love me enough, I know all about the past history of this religion and realise that besides all the rubbish the love is the main thing, I have seen so many pushed aside for things like as we said, but I do believe its a status thing, if your not married and single its different to being an elders wife or pioneer or a child of an elder an so forth this religion is status driven and as I said there are still some very loving b/s in this religion but mostly there isn’t and that’s because its all about image and status performance and rank.

    I am glad I have found out, but still feel so sad for the many that suffer within, imagine knowing the TATT and being in family that is so indoctrinated, I have siblings still strong in this religion but they were not born in, and hate to say this but its the born ins that seem to be the less loving as they are so indoctrinated at a young age, at least those that came in later have some sort of understanding of what it was like to be outside the religion.

    I am lucky that I do have family that are not in, and a few that are don’t hassle me but still care. I am lucky compared to other, and my heart goes out to them, I will be so happy to see this religion go, sad for the old ones as they have nothing else, but many need to understand if they really want to worship God in spirit and truth its about how they treat one another. Love is the defining thing, and its an individual thing not a group thing, on one is saved because of belonging to a group.

    As I believe that many in other faiths although mislead like JW if they show love of neighbour and care for one another that is what is important. The fruitages of the Spirit.

  • January 16, 2016 at 5:36 am
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    A very well presented argument as usual thank you James.
    My Mother and Sister have been shunning me for the past 9 years – its a joke when I do have to interact with them – my explanation of what unconditional love actually means and the fact that being part of or not being part of a religion is a freedom of choice always fall on deaf ears (especially when you where mentally indoctrinated to make that choice as a child). These interactions usually end up in an argument with my indiscretions and failures from 9 years ago being drawn up from the past and laid on the table as evidence that I need to change my life and the only way is to come back to the corporation. (Even though I have long since moved on from my former way of life and try my best to live with love and respect for all). The shunners then take on the victim role and you the shunned are the one that is causing all this emotional trama! I guess no-one could blame me for not wanting to associate with them or spend the rest of my life waiting for them or the WBTS corporation they belong to to change their minds – life is too short. In my mind the nastiness and lack of love that is increasingly being shown by some active witnesses is the expression of ultimate repression of thought and soul by the WBTS corporation. The world has changed dramatically – nobody likes being ruled by the rich top 1% or by this money making corporation that has failed in every respect – it only a matter of time….

  • January 16, 2016 at 6:05 am
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    Great article James! The Watchtower Society claims to be an agent for religious freedom, because of the many court cases they have fought. But it’s all smoke and mirrors because they only want religious freedom for themselves, not for everyone. Shunning is a way of denying religious freedom from members who want to leave. Especially considering that many of these members were coerced into joining up when they were mere children in their teens or even preteens, truly unable to understand the commitment they were making. But even ones who joined as adults should have freedom to leave at anytime without the threat of being shunned.

    The Watchtower talks out of both sides of its mouth, at times saying that people are free to leave and at others enforcing the strict shunning policies. The ARC saw through this facade and rightly called them out on it. Since their leaders can’t handle the truth they cry out “persecution.”

    WS

  • January 16, 2016 at 7:21 am
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    Like it or not people will associate with other people in their social circle. So if your kid plays soccer or hockey then you will hang out with the same crowd and “shun” the rest.

    By not going to meetings, etc. you have indicated that you are not part of the same mind and are no longer part of the social circle and will slowly be cut off (shunned). This I sorta understand. The common things that kept you within the group are no longer there.

    What I do not agree with though is the total family cutoff and emotional blackmail to coerce someone to comeback to the WT, including the non-communication allowed by anyone in the WT organization.

    • January 18, 2016 at 5:36 pm
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      I was a Jehovah’s Witness for 30 years. I saw the truth about the “truth”, and left 20 years ago.

      Due to Jehovah’s Witness shunning policy I have lost:
      my daughter,
      My son in law
      My 2 granddaughters and their husbands
      My brother
      My 3 sisters
      My nieces
      My nephews, on and on it goes.

      My big sin was questioning the elders. Is that a sin worthy of death as an apostate. I am NOT disfellowshipped. This is a very destructive religion. It fractures families.

      • January 20, 2016 at 8:18 am
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        I feel physically sick after reading of all your losses at the hands of this cruel cult. I have read so many cases on here of individuals loosing their whole families that I abhor the WT. The sister that originally contacted me 20 years ago suddenly, out of the blue, emailed me….. she is very old now and I was surprised to hear from her. I can’t reply to her and let her know I have stopped attending meeting or how I truly feel.. She is so full of zeal that I am afraid it would do more harm than good. I will just have to loose her email and hope that she forgets me. I can’t email back and pretend everything is fine….. I care too much for that. Ugh WT you destroy lives, families and friendships. I hope you are exposed more and more each day.

  • January 16, 2016 at 10:08 am
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    Brilliant James! Well done. Someone mentioned that by being shunned completely they could get on with their lives. A clean start. Someone else mentioned why on earth would they want to go back to be ‘friends’ with people who treated them like low life’s (my words). I am at that point now where I really don’t give. I can count on one hand the families/individuals that still acknowledge me as a human but I also know that if I was df’s or dissociated myself half of them would shun me… probably out of fear. It’s pathetic. It says so much about this cult.

  • January 16, 2016 at 12:51 pm
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    Want to hear something really funny. My ‘book study conductor’ texted me today for my service report…. 1) haven’t been out in nearly a year. 2) Never been to any of his groups because he was the SOB who said my granddaughter had been conceived in sin and no one was to hold her at the meetings. He was the one that gave the marking talk that eluded to my daughters mother in law, my daughter and myself being the spawn of Satan and christians should avoid association with the bad influence. Ha! and he thinks I have a report for him. Dream on bucko.

    • January 16, 2016 at 5:24 pm
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      @Tara
      This guy seems like a real piece of work (or insert another more colorful noun other than “work”). Why on earth would he suddenly text you for your time? Maybe it was an accident and he thought he was texting someone else. Or he simply had a brain fart. I wouldn’t reply to his text. He also could be fishing for a reason to cause trouble.

      WS

      • January 17, 2016 at 8:58 am
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        We used to be really good friends but now I can’t bear to look the side he is on without wanting to swing for him. There are not many people I feel that way towards. No he def. got the right person and my reply was curt. ‘Haven’t been out’. He didn’t reply. Maybe he is digging but I wont be at meeting today so I won’t have to face him… I used to hate the way the elders hung around the door to catch people they wanted to speak to. It was like running a gauntlet to get in and out without being noticed.

  • January 16, 2016 at 4:45 pm
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    Another great article! I just love coming on this site and look for new articles and information.

    Shunning is cruel and, in my humble opinion, it only serves to separate family members from one another. Since both of my J.W. parents and family members (uncles and aunts) have passed away the effects of shunning don’t bother me at all. (How fortunate for me) My wife, son and I have faded now for over five years.

    I remember our last district convention in 2013 (God’s Word is Truth) as the last talk Friday afternoon (Believe Inspired Truth not Inspired Error) the speaker said that “those who pursue higher education are a tool of the Devil”. Really? Well seeing that I graduated cum laude at university in 2008 and my son just graduated a two year community college being the commencement speaker at graduation this past November, what right does the Watchtower have to discourage anyone from wanting a life unburdened by being perpetually poor.

    Of course, anyone who doesn’t lock step with this inane organization is liable to be shunned. Although not dis-fellowshipped for gross sin (immorality, etc.) the “friends” have no problem shunning for minor infractions or different opinions.

    When the elders finally got around to visiting our family I stated to them that I was not “preventing” the rest of the family from attending the meetings but that I, in good conscience, would never return! They couldn’t get out of my house faster than if it were on fire. Too funny.

    So I say “let the shunning begin”! Freedom from Watchtower bondage and the cult of worshiping the seven mental morons of Munchkin land is worth every second of shunning these so called false friends can dish out.

  • January 16, 2016 at 5:03 pm
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    Timely article. I just heard how a relative of my spouses was interviewed onstage at an assembly and she recounted the story of how when she was a teenager and was studying to be a witness that her Catholic grandmother told her that she disowned her as a granddaughter. this ws 70 years ago and she broke down on stage, and the crowd was full of sympathetic groans. I guess the witnesses aren’t as blunt but cold,e heartless interaction doesn’t sound whole lot different.
    I pray her testimony opened the eyes of the cold and heartless witnesses that are shunning loved ones. And I pray her words will be remembered in the future

  • January 16, 2016 at 7:30 pm
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    I always find the comments from across “the pond” and other parts of the UK interesting when it comes to putting a leash on the Watchtower, because as Yankees, those are literally fighting words. It is only when an individual is deemed destructive that federal or state government typically becomes involved taking action against that individual and leaving a wide berth for religious freedom and practice. As an example, the global attention gained by the Waco Mount Carmel Compound burning to take down David Koresh did not take down the religious group, nor did the raid to capture Warren Jeffs end that group. Allegedly that group, like the Watchtower in the 1930’s when Rutherford and directors were jailed in Atlanta, is controlled by the captured leader.

    To take down a group, substantial proof of it being linked to domestic terror acts, seditious acts and conspiracy to harm others is generally required. Or, the IRS and ATF (google ’em).

    Inspite of all the laws on diversity and inclusion, government agencies have yet to be able to compel a family to cohesiveness or individuals to like, if not love, each other and cooperate. Also, families don’t speak to each other for multitudes of reasons–they don’t like each other, period; they thought someone bought a dish just to upstage them at the last holiday meal; they felt uncle or brother should have loaned them some money. So, for a ruling to force families to communicate with each other based on being in a common group is an impossible dream. And, families that have a bond often find ways to skirt “rules” of law or church, so I often wonder if “shunning” as practiced is a convenience for family to cut ties in a situation that was already full of rift possibilities. “He always was a deadbeat, and now I don’t have to deal with him.”

    • January 18, 2016 at 2:59 am
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      Don’t forget, though, in the Watchtower Brainwashing & Trickery Society, shunning is INSTITUTIONALIZED. It’s a policy, Standard Operating Procedure. The Organization makes the decision FOR you. It’s NOT a personal choice, regardless of how much u may or may not already dislike the shunned family member!

  • January 16, 2016 at 7:49 pm
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    Great article and lots of good comments and observations. I’ve been thinking lately that if the opportunity presents itself (more likely I’ll have to create the opportunity) I might put it this way to. JW: I’ve been away for 17 years and quite frankly, your beliefs are so different from what I grew up with and knew to be JW beliefs. Could you maybe study the Bible with me and convince me once again that this is ‘the truth’? One caveat, only use the Bible and for the sake of good research, a few different Bible translations. Also, could we include the most recent archeological work and research into the Holy lands, from people with ‘boots on the ground’ so to speak…think of me like any newly interested one off the street with access to Internet…could you teach me and convince me that this is the truth and an organization rooted in love?
    Would you be afraid to really research on those terms?

    Or do I already know too much?

    I just wonder if some of the old timers (like what I would have been if I had stayed in) dread the thought of a Bible student like that? Actually, I’m pretty sure some have been confronted with this. Better to get someone who’s recently lost a loved one in death or gone through difficult times looking for a sugar coated quick fix…to have their ears tickled with promises of paradise and everlasting life!

    • January 17, 2016 at 7:15 am
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      @Fidhealer
      “Better to get someone who’s recently lost a loved one in death or gone through difficult times”

      Great point. People going through traumatic events are most ripe for recruitment into a high control group/cult. The love-bombing that new ones experience fills that void for the short term and draws them in. While their emotions are running high, their critical thinking skills are not as sharp and often suspended.

      WS

  • January 16, 2016 at 9:29 pm
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    “In any organization you should have the right to join AND the right to leave without life-altering consequences.”
    (my comment on The Secret Lives of Women/Cults)

    I was coerced into being baptized at age 10, and I’ve been shunned by my family for 35 years now, simply because I didn’t want to remain a Jehovah’s Witnesses.

    Brenda Lee, author
    “Out of the Cocoon: A Young Woman’s Courageous Flight from the Grip of a Religious Cult”
    http://www.outofthecocoon.net

  • January 16, 2016 at 9:41 pm
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    I think my comment above may look out of place but consider…they always say we left and if we came back, then…so, my response is, I might come back IF you convince me.

    • January 17, 2016 at 3:17 am
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      Good point Fidhealer – I don’t think there is a “while-you-were-away” program on for prospective returnees on the road map – this has now been depersonalized and all available on the official web site – just don’t ask questions or have a personal comment on the content please. “Convince me” has been replaced with “Believe what we have made available online”.

  • January 17, 2016 at 2:45 pm
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    Shunning/ Disfellowshipping is on the list that identifies a group as a cult.

    (Found in all psychology books on cults)

    • January 19, 2016 at 9:23 am
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      Amen

  • January 17, 2016 at 5:12 pm
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    I was reading this blog today… you might find it interesting… http://www.jehovahswitnessblog.com/faqs/shunning/

    this little bit from the 1952 march 1st WT caught my eye…
    Such an individual has no place in the clean organization or congregation of God. He should go back to the wicked group that he once came from and die with that wicked group with Satan’s organization

    They are a wonderful christian org. are they not. Of course they have all the scriptures to back it up….

    • January 18, 2016 at 3:04 am
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      Makes one wonder if the source of all those scriptures is REALLY a loving god???…Or just some Imaginary Bronze-Age Warmonger!!!

Comments are closed.